Best architect: I M Pei.
Best cookbook writer: Fanny Farmer. First cookbook to use standardized measurements.
Q: What did the cannibal give his sweetie on Saint Valentine's Day?
A: A box of farmer's fannies.
Best TV actor, 80s and 10s: Rik Mayall.
Best TV actor, 70s: Mary Tyler Moore.
Best Brewer: Robin Yount.
Best Toyota pickup owner: My sister Nicole.
Best poet: Gerard Manley Hopkins.
Best Congressional tweeter: Urm...
Worst news anchor: The woman on Fox6 WakeUp!
Worst hair: My Momoko fashion doll after my friend Spewgie gave her a new "do.
Worst media magnate: William Randolph Hearst.
Worst conference: Kanto. We hate Kanto. We cheer for my mother's alma mater, Kwansei Gakuin University Fighters, in the Kansai Conference.
Worst senatorial facial hair: Martin Van Buren.
Worst two-time Triple Crown winner: Eddie Arcaro. He is also the best. Only one I know.
Worst NFL nickname: Donny "The Golden Palomino" Anderson.
Worst TV cast addition: The Great Gazoo.
Worst TV ‘stache: Magnum P I.
Toughest wrestler: Scrap Iron Podaski. No, wait. The Crusher. Mad Dog Vachon. Baron Von Raschke and his signature (although illegal) move — The Claw.
Fastest wideout: Carroll Dale. Well, he was the best. Packers made it to the first and second AFL-NFL World Championship Games (AKA Super Bowl I and Super Bowl II).
Loudest drummer: Keith Moon.
Iciest team owner(s): Green Bay Packers, Inc.
Van Halenest record producer: The Glimmer Twins?
Craziest terrorist: That sarin gas doomsday guy in the Tokyo subway.
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