勝美2

1. What flower makes you the happiest when you see it?

Queen Elizabeth roses.

2. What song always makes you feel better?

♫ ♪ Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be OK ♪
♫ Everything's gonna be alright
Yeah yeah yeah ♪ ♫

3. Do you enjoy making people laugh?

Maybe being silly with my friend Spewgie's daughter, Spewgie Jr, and my little nieces.

At family parties my youngest niece and I put on our ventriloquist act. She sits in my lap and opens and closes her mouth when I gently squeeze the back of her neck.

勝美: Claire, did you know alligators can grow up to sixteen feet?
Claire: But most of them only have four!

It's hard to find that kind of quality entertainment nowadays.

4. Have you ever been called ‘The Life of the Party’ and for good reason?

Sorority wapatuli party. I was in charge of the door because I was a little sister which is one rung up the ladder from pledge which is one rung up the ladder from an amoeba in the primordial goo. There were too many frat boys with a can of Minute Maid supposed-to-be frozen orange juice concentrate and 190° Everclear. Juice and alcohol were the price of admission and everything was poured in a garbage can with a block of dry ice.

[Southern belle voice] Why I do believe those budding gynecologists were intent on getting us intoxicated. [/Southern belle voice]

Then there is always the one dork who brings prune juice and a bottle of Old Monkey Butt Scotch whisky. What the hell is the matter with you? Where do you even find crap like that? You go home and party at your mom’s house.

‘Round about midnight, all the bros are staggering around. Drunk as a skunk.

So sorry. I confiscated your hooch. Placebo effect.

You’d have thought I was conducting a Twelve Step meeting at church on a Sunday morning the way those guys sobered up so fast. So long! Farewell! Auf Wiedersehen! Goodbye!

5. Do tee shirts and bumper stickers make you laugh?

I dislike bumper stickers.

Nowhere to put 'em.

Not a big fan of printed t-shirts, either. Except for the ones I silk screen.

I bought a collegiate green Adidas trefoil t-shirt earlier today. My quarantine has turned into a shopping spree.

Because it matches my new Adidas Country OGs.

Both collegiate green. Both retro designs. Both corporate symbols reminiscent of ancient kamon.

If I'd been a little quicker on the trigger there was a collegiate green one-piece swimsuit, too. How cute would I have looked by the swimming pool on the ship that didn't sail out of San Diego last Saturday and I had to fly back home to be quarantined?

It's not that I'm crazy about green. Usually I am an Onitsuka Tigers in white leather girl and fond of pink. My father wore Adidas Country II in same colors in the early nineteen-seventies when he was in high school. So. They remind me of him. And that makes me happy.