Friday5: Year-End Awards.

Friday5 questions courtesy of Scrivener. Thank you!

The 2019 Friday5 Awards. The Scrivees. Shopping Edition.

Chorines wearing sparkly bikinis and feather outfits wrapping up a musical number:

♪ ♫ So. We promise you
You'll never get bored ♪
♫ It's the Friday5 Scri-ven-er A-wards! ♫ ♪

1. Who is your 2019 most valuable player?

Make Your Own Jeans. I love the navy wool flannel double-breasted blazer they made for me. It worked great on the cruise to Hawaii. And the pink paisley lining and functional cuff buttons are adorbs.

The only problem is that when I wear the blazer with my white skirt and white wingtips, people come up to me and ask questions. Which side of the ship is port and which side is starboard? What time do we get to Honolulu? Where do you sleep at night?

That last one took me off guard. Pervy? It took me a while before I realized they thought I was a crew member.

The crew sleeps onboard. What? Did you think they commuted?

The girls at the front desk must be puzzled when they receive complaints about the "Chinese girl" who was observed in the cocktail lounge drinking martinis on the job.

All I need is a nametag ($7.39) and an officer's hat ($139.99) and I could sneak onto the bridge and steer the dam ship.

Dam ship. 'Cause all the Holland America ships — Amsterdam, Nieuw Amsterdam, Koningsdam, Noordam, Oosterdam. Prinsendam, Etc,Etcdam — end with dam. Get it?

Yeah, I didn't think it was very funny the first time I heard it when I was a little girl, either. That is the type of thing that boosts souvenir coffee mug sales in the Holland America gift shop.

2. Who is your 2019 newcomer of the year?

Did a lot of Christmas shopping online. Coach had a 50% off sale with free shipping. I love free shipping. Bought a bunch of Dreamer wristlets. In cherry, black and light grey.

For those of us who are guys, a wristlet is like a zippered pencil pouch with a strap that wraps around your wrist. For carrying a few credit cards, cash, handkerchief, perfume atomizer and a cell 'phone. For going to the farmers' market or Pick 'N' Save instead of a big purse. More stylish than a cross-body bag. Or you could substitute a wristlet for a clutch with an evening gown.

3. Who is your 2019 most improved player?

Proper Cloth shirtmakers. Added more heavyweight cotton oxfords to an already very nice selection. I am thinking the white with multi-color stripes and an ultra-wide striped fabric as fun shirts for vacations and parties.

A fun shirt is a... well, it's a shirt for fun. Something to wear at a casual Happy Hour. For example, my Brooks Brothers fun shirt is a traditional oxford button down. Except the collar and sleeves and pocket and cuffs and gauntlets and placket and body are all different colors.

I can't be expected to be serious all the time.

4. Who is your 2019 comeback player of the year?

FragranceX. Guerlain Vétiver eau de toilette, Habit Rouge eau de parfum testers.

A tester is a heavily discounted fragrance which does not have a cap and is packaged in a plain box. Intended for use at department store perfume counters as a tester. So shoppers can give themselves a spritz. Not a ideal situation for personal use if you don't have a cap from a previous bottle. Perfume can evaporate or oxidize more readily. On the perfume counter at a store, it is used before it can go off.

If only I could find a source for reasonably priced Mitsouko, Jicky and Vol De Nuit shower gels, body lotions and parfums.

I would like to try Nahema.

So many perfumes, so little time. Feel free to quote me on that.

5. Who receives your 2019 team spirit award?

Usually this category is reserved for the member of the cheerleading squad or lacrosse team who broke her leg or something and had to sit out the season.

My perennial favorite, Beefeater 24. London dry gin.

Runner-Up: Beefeater. With Noilly Prat extra dry vermouth Américaine. Stirred, not shaken. Two olives.

Think about it. Why would anyone shake clear spirits? And it imparts too much water.

It bruises the gin.

James Bond with shaken not stirred vodka martinis? If it ain't gin, it ain't a martini. Besides, James Bond drank vespers, not martinis.

Honorable Mention: Beefeater with pink lemonade. And a maraschino cherry.

A bendy straw. And an umbrella.

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