Questions courtesy of 金曜五.
1. Whatcha been up to?
Went back to bed after Myrtle The Wonder Cat's and my Indoor Tailgate Party Featuring Pompano En Papillote And Champagne and the Packers vs Lions game to be interrupted by police loudspeakers.
"WE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP BEFORE WE SEND IN THE K-9 UNITS."
Send in the K-9 units! Send in the K-9 units! The most entertainment Myrtle and I have had in months.
Black kids carjacked someone and promptly crashed the stolen getaway car. As usual, hoofed it for my neighborhood.
The last time this happened, I saw shirtless black kids carrying t-shirts. That was their disguise. Instead of a gang of black kids wearing t-shirts they were a gang of shirtless black kids carrying t-shirts. Cutting through my backyard. Which is in the middle of the block. I thought they were messing with my Firebird. They'd just beaten an eighty-five year old woman and stolen her purse. I didn't bother with shoes. Ran after them. And when they did the old split up routine to draw off the pursuit (me), I went after the biggest slowest one, swept him off his feet with a tackle Ray Nitschke would have been proud of and held him until my neighbors finally got the bright idea to call 911 instead of just standing there.
Maybe they were waiting on the ref to whistle the play dead.
BARK BARK BARK! Sounds like K-9 Officer Zev knocked over my recycling cart and has Suspect #1 in custody.
Now Myrtie is all upset. Why can't I be a police feline officer? Because you do not obey. Instead of catching out and subduing Suspect #1, you would rip out his jugular and lap up the blood. And play with the toe tag as the coroner removes the body to the morgue.
Bad kitty! Bad girl!
FUN FACT: Harming a police dog carries the same penalties as harming a police officer.
FUN FACT: K-9 Officer Zev does not speak English. He responds to commands in Foreignese. So. If you said, "Sic 'em, K-9 Officer Zev!" he would look at you and wag his tail. But if you said, "Merci beaucoup mon ami pour la fromage!" or something like that, then watch the sparks fly!
K-9 Officer Zev is one of the few officers on the Wauwatosa force to have his own squad and personal chauffeur. Champagne wishes and caviar dreams, Zevvy!
Zev, derived from Ze'ev in the Old Testament, means "wolf" in Hebrew. He is a Dutch Shepherd from the Czech Republic and attended school at The University Of Shallow Creek Kennels in Sharpsville, Pennsylvania. His hobbies include chasing frisbees and knocking over my recycling cart. Zev enjoys romantic walks on a moonlit beach; his favorite color is navy blue.
As K-9 Officer Zev and his co-workers were in the process of arresting Suspects #1, #2 and #3 who were lying prone immediately prior to being cuffed, searched and transported, a black woman walked up with her cellphone on record and demanded the officers holster their guns. K-9 Officer Zev did not appreciate the comments from the peanut gallery. There is a nonverbal vocabulary between a K-9 officer and officer. Zev received the silent command for "stay" and "guard". Miss Busybody got religion pretty quick. Active crime scene, lady.
What is going on in my sleepy little neighborhood where nothing ever happens?
2. What's the latest from the front?
Some guy trying to evade police after crashing his car jumped off a bridge into the river to make a swim for it.
Same bridge I got stuck in traffic waiting on to eat my halo halo from the Filipino restaurant.
If the fall didn't kill him the bacteria and pathogens (fecal coliforms and E. coli), phosphorus pollution and contaminated PCB laden sediments surely will.
Comment: Ick.
N.B. This is the downtown section of the Milwaukee River. Not the Menomonee River by my house. From which clean crisp Miller beer was brewed.
♪ ♫ From the land where blue lives matter (matter)
From Mayfair Mall to the library ♪
♫ Comes the beer refreshing
Miller the beer refreshing ♪ ♫
♫ Miller ♫ ♪
Actually that's the Hamm's Beer jingle.
Well, at least the river doesn't catch on fire like the Cuyahoga in Cleveland.
Speaking of Cleveland, if you ever fly to my fair city and happen to look out the window from the spacious comfort of your Boeing Dreamliner, you'll be warmly greeted.
If it wasn't funny in 1978, it ain't funny forty-two years later, pal.
4a. What's new?
Yuka posted on Facebook: 家族が増えたよ！ すいみい ฅ•ﻌ•ฅ ❤️❤️❤️ #ラグドール #猫 #cat.
Which translates to: I have more family! Sui Mi. Old school emoticon for kitty. Heart heart heart. Hashtag Ragdoll. Hashtag Cat. Hashtag cat [in English].
A new Ragdoll named Sui Mi.
Okie dokie. At one point I had Ginger, a primarily white calico; Rosemary, a black cat and Veronica Jr., who I believe was a Russian Blue.
No matter what I wore, black or white or grey, I was a target for shedding. Had to keep lint brushes in the Firebird and the minivan.
With Myrtle I am less of a target. She is kind of camouflage color. And not affectionate.
Yuka's "frosted" eyelashes go great with her new look. But three cats? Getting pretty close to spinster / crazy cat lady territory, missy. I oughtta know.
FUN FACT: Yuka is five years older than me.
4b. What else is new?
The Green Bay Packers vs Detroit Lions.
Due to coronavirus, empty stadium. Which did not stop Aaron Jones from doing the Lambeau Leap after a seventy-five yard rushing touchdown.
As of game time, the Pack was giving seven; the over / under was fifty-one.
Final score: Packers, 42; Lions, 21. Another blowout. If you took the points and the Lions and bet under, so sorry.
This game was one for the record books. Not because the Lions lost eleven straight games. The Lions lost nineteen in a row from 2007-09, including the first-ever 0-16 season in league history.
The Lions became the first team in NFL history to lose four straight games in which they had a double-digit lead.
Not exactly the types of records you want to set.
The Lions were penalized for a lot of stupid infractions. In addition to offsides and holding, lowering a shoulder to the head of a defenseless receiver on his way to an out-of-bounds incompletion and a horsecollar tackle.
It is a far cry from the days of Lions defensive tackle, Ndamukong Suh. Is he the dirtirest player in the NFL? Well, he did win the Bronko Nagurski Trophy. Bronko was the dirtiest player of his era.
Nagurski no doubt practicing his arsenal of dirty tricks or worshipping Satan.
We set the wayback machine to 1933. The Green Bay Packers vs the Chicago Bears. The Packers line is faltering and cannot hold Bronko Nagurski from sacking Green Bay quarterback Johnny Blood. In the huddle, Blood calls for the line to allow Nagurski through. "No, Johnny me lad! Ye canna do such a thing!" his teammates exclaim in dismay. "Aye lads, I must," Johnny resolutely returns.
For Johnny Blood was not a newcomer to the gridiron. He barnstormed with the Packers, for the Milwaukee Badgers, the Duluth Eskimos, the Pottsville Maroons, another stint with the Packers, the Pittsburgh Pirates, the Packers again and the ended his career with the Pirates as a player-coach.
Hut, hut, hike! Johnny grimly fades back with the evil Nagurski in pursuit. Fading back, fading back, fading back... and throws a bullet right between Nagurski's eyes knocking him out!
And The Green Bay Packers lived happily ever after.
Suh also won the Lombardi Award so there must be a spark of decency in him as improbable as may be. But I doubt it. Suh is currently cheating for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. We do not have to worry about him until October 18th.
5. What's on the agenda?
Testing the harbor bridge's new lighting. Pink, red, blue, green. white, orange, yellow, rainbow...
Can't decide if I want to be one of the first to drive over the bridge when the lighting project is completed or organize my friends and charter a night cruise to watch the inauguration from the harbor.
Unseasonably warm weather. I am thinking of a day trip to Door County in the roadster.
And if we have Indian Summer, I will make the sacrifice and take a second trip.
Questions 1 — 5 courtesy of Scrivener. Thank you!
Friday 5 for September 25: Go fry an egg!
1. Where would you go if someone asked you to go jump in the lake?
Bradford Beach on New Year's Day. Polar Bear Plunge.
2. Where would you go if someone asked you to take a hike?
The basilica.
Climb the bell tower like Quasimodo...
...and pray at The Sixth Station Of The Cross: Veronica Wipes The Face Of Jesus With Her Veil. In the middle of the woods.
3. Where would you go if someone asked you to take a long walk off a short pier?
Harbor breakwater. Near the lighthouse Spewgie and I wanted to buy. On a calmer day.
4. Where would you go if someone asked you to go climb a tree?
You're a week too late. Bulldozers tore down the remnants of the insane asylum grounds.
The hospital pond. Staircase was beyond the dock on the left.
Japan. Edo Period.
6. Where would you go if someone asked you to take a flying leap?
The Devil's Doorway. Conveniently located next to The Devil's Ashtray.
Or Maiden's Leap.
I vote for the chartered night cruise. How cool is that bridge lighting? What was the civic rationale for it? Just for prettiness? I think not enough municipalities do things for fun. They used to show family-friendly movies on a huge screen on the beach in Waikiki. Something visitors and residents enjoyed together. It was so much fun, but they had trouble paying for it. Restaurants sponsored it for a while. Now the scaffolding for the screen is still there for the occasional special screening (LOST season premieres first, then Hawaii Five-0 season premieres), but it's not the same.
ReplyDeleteJust for prettiness. Funded by private donations.
ReplyDeleteThe last outdoor movie I saw was at Big Sky Twin Drive-In Theater in Wisconsin Dells with Spewgie on one of our Shakespeare weekends.
So. Hamlet, The Taming Of The Shrew and Zootopia.
And I am not just like Judy Hopps.