勝美2

金曜五 and Friday5 doubleheader!

Questions courtesy of 金曜五.

1. Whatcha been up to?

Hospital stuff. Thank heavens for my friend Spewgie and Spewgie Jr for taking Myrtle The Wonder Cat to the cat doctor for boarding. Spewgie was more than willing to babysit Myrtie but Spewgie Jr loves kitties; Myrtie was an abused cat and should not be left alone with children.

And it is the last week of August. Hoodie And Shorts Weather Awareness Week.

2. What's the latest from the front?

State representative David Bowen wrote a letter.

On his official State Of Wisconsin stationary.

And was interviewed by the local media. Stuck to his story.

And his fellow Black Lives Matter / Defund The Police stooge,

State Representative Jonathan Brostoff, backed him up.

Such idiots. Police reviewed the videos and arrested three men who were at Officer Mensah's home "protesting". During a traffic stop. Driving the same SUV with a distinctive broken taillight.

Ronald Bell, William Lofton, Niles McKee.

Ronald Bell, 28, second degree recklessly endangering safety (use of a dangerous weapon) and battery to a law enforcement officer. William Lofton, 23, second degree recklessly endangering safety. Niles McKee, 29, harboring or aiding a felon as a party to a crime.

So. Every single thing Representatives David Bowen and Jonathan Brostoff said was a lie.

Every single thing.

You can kiss your political careers sayonara.

Mugshots courtesy of the Milwaukee County House Of Correction.

3. What up?

I lost four pounds while I was in the hospital.

That might not seem like a big deal but I am not very big in the first place and the doctor says I am supposed to gain weight.

Most of the weight loss is due to the poor quality of the slop I was fed and the restricted diet. For example, breakfast was a bowl of cold mush, seven red seedless grapes and decaffeinated tea. In a three ounce plastic single-use cup with a foil lid. Why even bother? And the nurses were freaking out that I never slept. The whole time I was there. Doesn't it say something about chronic insomnia on my chart?

And if I were to sleep, they'd just be waking me up to take my blood pressure every two hours. Or a sleeping pill. Or the IV machine would start beeping. And the electrical cord and my IV were about one foot too short for me to get to the toilet so I had to unplug it from the wall outlet and drag everything into the bathroom with me.

Best part is that the operation was a wash so I get to go back and do it all over in September.

But I was a good little patient and didn't complain.

The first thing I did when I left the hospital was to order a Chicago-style pizza. I had to order it from a place in Waukesha because none of the Milwaukee pizzerias that make deep dish pizza had anchovies on their menus.

How can you make a Chicago-style pizza without anchovies?

Anchovies, black olives, mushrooms, onions, pepperoni, sausage, tomato sauce, extra mozzarella. My mother liked sautéed green peppers, too. The ocean brininess of the anchovies cuts down the brightness of the tomatoes.

It was either that or Taco Bell for bean burritos. And a pineapple whip freeze.

Which is not even close to a Dole Whip at Disneyland. More of a slushie. But it makes my tummy The Happiest Place On Earth®. Feel free to quote me on that.

Or maybe the Family Bundle for $12.99 at the Burger King. Drove past Sammy's to check out dogs and Italian beefs but it was jammed. Do you know what I'm really hungry for? Lobster with french fries and asparagus with hollandaise. König Ludwig Schnitzel mit spargel und hollandaise. Fairy tale King Ludwig’s fave: pan-seared schnitzel topped with white asparagus and lemony hollandaise, served with boiled new potatoes. Poutine. Liver dumpling soup, pork shank, sauerbraten, rouladen, potato salad with apple strudel and schaum tortes for dessert. Or Black Forest cake. Roasted duck and a bottle of Veuve Clicquot. The relish tray at The Pyramid supper club: a four-tiered lazy susan with crudités, pickled herring in cream sauce, cheeses, olives, pickled vegetables, cornichons, sliced sausages, liverwurst, shrimp, deviled eggs, crackers, fancy salads with a small loaf of warm bread and a ramekin of butter. And then you are expected to eat supper. My favorite Saturday afternoon treat when I was in high school: a martini and a Reuben sandwich at Club 113. With my fake ID, New Yorker magazine and mother's American Express card. Wearing my tennis whites so I'd pass for a mature suburban woman.

Tiger sandwich. Raw chopped sirloin on buttered rye or black bread with an onion slice and capers on Christmas and New Year's Eve. Muffaletta at Glorioso Brothers. Sfogliatella at Sciortino's Bakery. Minestrone Genovese, insalata Caprese, pizza margherita, pasta puttanesca, veal piccatta, tiramisu, cannoli, gelato, sorbetto at Calderone Club. Sitting at a sidewalk table with an antipasti and a bottle of spumanti on a warm summer evening at Ristorante Bartolotta. Pierogi, czarnina, stuffed cabbage, potato pancakes and dumplings at Polonez. Stuffed grape leaves, cheese and spinach burek and goulash at Three Brothers. Hummus with lemon, pickled turnips and pita, lamb kifta and shish kabob, baba ganoush, spinach pie at Casablanca. Aloo tikki, keema samosa, rasa vada, iddly, mulligatawny or cocoanut soup, rasam soup, lamb Madras curry, dosa with a mango lassi and almost impossible to choose just two desserts at India Garden. Saganaki, souvlaki, gyros, spanakopita, shish kebob, baklava at Gyros Corner. Mouse cheese. Cheese curds so fresh they squeak when you eat them from Widmer's in Theresa. Immigrant Swiss who invented brick cheese in 1877. Shrimp po' boy, key lime pie and a dumpster punch cocktail at Barnacle Bud's. This joint is hard to find for the uninitiated as it's not on a street. Just sort of plunked down among warehouses on a dock over the river. In its own little world. You are instantly transported to the Florida Keys.

Loco moco, seaweed salad, cocoanut curry soup, POG, char siu chicken, smoked hulihuli Cornish game hen with pineapple teriyaki sauce, kalua pig, cocoanut peanut butter, Pocky, rice candy, saimin, kohlrabi slaw in papaya seed dressing, li hing carrot pineapple slaw, purple sticky rice, cocoa puffs (cream puffs with choco whipped cream), pineapple upside down cake, Hawaiian potato salad.

Hawaiian potato salad is very different from Japanese potato salad. Pretty much the same ingredients except Hawaiian potato salad has macaroni noodles and is slimier. You could eat Hawaiian potato salad with chopsticks — if you are black belt level in chopsticks. Really yummy.

Okonomiyaki, tonkatsu ramen, miso, zadeshi (bratwurst with cabbage, cheese, rice and spices). Kimchi, pickled daikon, tsukemono. Brat fried rice. Vienna curry with S&B spice powder. Onigiri. Ramune. Sake.

Karaage 'n' caviar. Or KFC. Or Buffalo turkey drumsticks with bleu cheese dip and celery.

Candy raisins. Nothing to do with raisins. A honey, ginger, lilac flavored jujube.

Fish fry at my parish. Fish boil in Door County. Pasties. Pronounced pas-tee. Beef, potatoes, onions, turnips, rutabaga and carrots in a pastry shell from Reynold's Pasty Shop. Brought to Wisconsin by the Cornish miners in the early nineteenth century. And appears on the state seal and flag.

That is why we are The Badger State. Nothing to do with actual badgers. Because two hundred years ago some guy observed the Cornish miners would disappear into their lead mines like badgers.

So sorry, Bucky.

Green Bay-style chili served on spaghetti from Real Chili. Polish prune and rose petal pączki (very similar to Portuguese malassadas but with alcohol added to the dough to prevent oil absorption during frying) and gâteau des rois / king cake on Mardi Gras. Red bean, green bean, lotus seed, winter melon, pineapple, date and green tea Chinese mooncakes with duck egg yolks to celebrate Mid-Autumn Festival and crispy roasted Peking duck from Lucky Bakery & BBQ. Pickled herring in cream, pickled turkey gizzards, pickled hard boiled eggs, pickled Polish sausage from Bay View Packing Company. Polski Wyrob (Polish-style dill pickles) from Milwaukee Pickles. Bratwurst, bockwurst, knackwurst, weisswurst, jagdwurst and Bayerischer leberkäse from Usinger's Sausage.

Betsy got hired at Usinger's straight out of high school. We were all planning on going to college together and were a little jealous as Betsy was starting at the princessly sum of ten dollars an hour. Her job was to wheel butchered animal parts, mostly intestines, on a cart from the slaughter floor to the various cleaning areas. One area was a white tiled room down a short ramp. There was an old woman wearing boots and long rubber gloves. Think industrial-strength opera gloves. Her job was to rinse the lower intestines, reach in and turn the intestine inside out and rinse the inside. To make the casings for the really big sausages like mortadella and salami. So. By ten o'clock in the morning this woman was standing in nasty untreated sewage. Diluted pig excrement. Which is why she wore boots.

So. One day Betsy is making the rounds with her cartload of dead animal parts and the factory whistle sounds lunchtime. And here comes the old lady out of her washing pit and she heads for a giant industrial cooking vat, reaches in with her lower intestine inside out turning opera gloves, pulls out a pig's snout and chomps it as if it were an apple.

Betsy ended up going to university with the rest of us.

And will not eat meat to this very day.

A trip to the supermercado for cactus, Mexican Coca-Cola, tamarind soda water and Kool-Aid. Elote (Mexican corn on the cob with crema, cotija cheese, paprika, and lime juice) and paletas (Mexican popsicles with big chunks of fruit) and tamales from the street pushcart vendors.

A trip to Mitsuwa grocery store in Chicago for everything from rice to umeboshi to Lady M mille crêpes. And Shiseido and a dozen shops and restaurants. All your needs under one roof. Have a Japanice day!

Cream puffs and lemonade at State Fair. Wisconsin-style kakigori, strange and exotic foods-on-a-stick and decadent desserts at the feast-with-the-beasts Zoo À La Carte. All the different foods from the summer-long series of ethnic festivals and Summerfest, the world's largest music festival. All cancelled due to coronavirus and rioting.

Childhood favorites. Hot lunch lasagna, Girl Scout woofenpoof (pre-assembled beef stew in a coffee can cooked over a fire), pigs in a blanket, Dutch oven cobblers with berries we picked. Roasting the fish we caught. Cocoa and s'mores around the campfire. Corn on the grill. Cheeseburgers with tomatoes from the garden and Kewpie mayonnaise.

Cheeseburgers at Nite Owl. The cheeseburger at the luncheonette at the golf course.

Or The Kiltie Drive-In. Served to your car on a tray by carhops.

Green Kool-Aid. Cherry slushie. Coca-Cola. Especially at a fountain with three squirts of cherry syrup. Coca-Cola with a squeeze of lime. Coca-Cola Georgia Peach. Matcha and sencha tea. Savory celery soda water with a pastrami sandwich. Lime soda water from Twig's in Shawano. Cherry soda water from Seymour Beverages in Seymour. Homemade soda water in any flavor you can think of. If it can go through my juicer I can carbonate it. Old fashioned homemade lime cherry phosphate. Homemade version of the discontinued Hi-C Ecto Cooler. Veuve Clicquot. Martini. Gin 'n' tonic. Gin 'n' pink lemonade. Pink gin. Wisconsin Prairie Fumé and French Cabernet Sauvignon. A2 milk from Guernsey cows. Real cream.

I am very fortunate to have delicious city water. There are even water bottling companies that use straight tap water. Do you really think it comes from a glacier? My sister lives about eight miles west of me. On the other side of the subcontinental divide. If I was to pour a glass of water on my lawn, it would eventually find its way to Lake Michigan. If Antoinette was to pour a glass of water on her lawn, it would end up in the Mississippi.

Her water comes from a rapidly depleting aquifer. One hundred and fifty years ago her city was famous for its many springs; rich people built summer mansions to enjoy the waters and there were many water bottlers. Now I have to hike deep into the woods to gather watercress from a spring. And I will not drink the water at Tony's house. I won't even drink her tea or Kool-Aid.

Strange that a place renown for its waters should become dependent on "imported" bottled water.

My very own Veal Véronique. Nothing to do with grapes. Veronica is my American name. Four gooey cheeses sandwiched between seared veal cutlets and while it's finishing under the salamander, make the french fries. My other culinary invention, Veronicas. Battered, deep fried Reuben sandwiches. Or Ronettes. Appetizer size version of Veronicas.

As long as I'm in the kitchen, whip up a key lime pie. With a dough pie crust and meringue topping. Wasn't able to make it to Door County for cherries this year. Pretty soon it will be time to go to the farms near Holy Hill for a pumpkin to carve a jack-o'-lantern and a pumpkin for baking Thanksgiving pie. Which reminds me I need Sri Lanka cinnamon bark, nutmeg and allspice berries from the spice store. Might as well get vanilla beans while I'm there.

Trust me. I've had plenty of time to daydream.

I don't think pizza and burritos and Whoppers and dogs are low in sodium or low calorie or whatever they told me to do. Well that's just too bad.

First time I felt full in over a week.

And I missed Spumomi Day and Tiramisu Day at the frozen custard stand. Sweet of them to make up a pint of each and save it for me. I think it's the old gas station conundrum. I look young for my age. When I stop for gasoline and a cherry slushie, the East boys think I'm a West girl and the West boys think I'm an East girl.

Actually, neither. Attended private schools.

Or when I'm at a stop 'n' go light and a car full of boys pulls up in the curb lane and wants to drag race me. Please. My roadster can do zero to sixty in four seconds. How fast does your mother's Pacifica go?

Spumoni is three custards: pistachio nut, burgundy cherry, and chocolate almond. Delish.

4. What's new?

I missed the SCANDAL pay-per-view livestream. So happy I was able to watch a rerun.

During the bridge of SCANDAL Baby, Tomomi and Mami go to centerstage while Haruna is singing and dance a minuet or kiss her or whisper in her ear. Something that makes her laugh.

For this concert's SCANDAL Baby, Tomomi and Mami stood too close to Haru while wearing coronavirus face shields. Haruna eventually lost her composure and pushed Tomomi away. Too funny. Too cute. The concert was kara... I forget the word. Just as karaoke means "empty orchestra", SCANDAL's fourteenth anniversary concert was designed to be "empty audience" due to the coronavirus. Karasomething.

Living In The City was outstanding. All the girls — even Rina — playing acoustic guitars to Tomomi's singing.

Rina Suzuki, Birthday Girl. Wearing her birthday hat. Happy twenty-ninth!

One day as the girls were on their way home from school, they daydreamed about forming a band.

Haruna said, "Since I am the oldest, I will be the singer."

Mami said, "Since I am second oldest, I will play lead guitar."

Tomomi said, "Since I am third oldest, I will play bass."

And that is how Rina became a drummer.

Every time SCANDAL releases a new CD, there are three types. Plain, with picture book and with DVD. So. I usually end up with the picture book and DVD versions. But now I am wishing for an "unplugged" CD, too. Not a big fan of acoustic guitar. That performance was unbelievable.

Now I have to plan (and hope the coronavirus wanes so I can get a visa to Japan. You'd think it would be automatic as my mother's family lives there but that's not the way it works) to attend their Fifteenth Anniversary next August. Which is at Osaka Castle Hall.

SCANDAL pre-schoolgirl look. One of my favorite songs. Never released. 

On the other side of the park from where the high school SCANDAL busked on Sunday afternoons and promised each other that someday they'd become famous and play concerts in that very same arena. A fairy tale come true.

Speaking of new, for some inexplicable reason, I had to be prepped in the operating room. Which consisted of a nurse shaving me. I look like a little girl.

My brand new...

No. I will not share a selfie.

5. What's on the agenda?

Pick up Myrtle from the cat boarding school. With all the money I spend there, she must be the smartest cat in the world.

And a martini. Make it a double. It's been a hell of a week.

Friday5 questions courtesy of Scrivener. Thank you!

Friday 5 for August 28: Consumption.

1. What would you consider your most recent major purchase?

Other than hospitalization for an operation that did not occur? Yanked me off the operating table right before administering the anaesthetic? And I have a do over coming up next week?

Nothing really. SCANDAL "tickets" for their livestream were only ¥3000. No new sneakers. No new dresses. No wire wheels for the roadster.

Artist's conception.

Oh for pity. The new laptop I'm typing on.

2. On what are you hoping to spend a good chunk of change in the near future?

My front porch and back stoop. I'm really considering stone.

On my way to the doctor's office the other day, there was a house a few blocks away that had the side lawn and landscaping all torn up. Big trucks and lifting machines. From what I could tell, a raised stone patio was being built into the hillside to the level of what may be converting windows to french doors. The walls match the stone of the house. Big project and even in the very unfinished state already looking beautiful even if it's ornamental.

Then there is the house in my neighborhood that had the concrete torn up and replaced with stone steps and a new walkway to the front door. Landscaped with a vengeance. I kept telling myself that it needed a year or two to mature but nope, it is just plain ugly. On a corner lot. The steps start at the corner. Not even the placement makes sense. At least the driveway can accommodate a wheelchair.

3. When did you most recently resist the urge to splurge?

Because no one was feeding me at the hospital one night I unplugged the IV machine from the electrical outlet and went to the hospital cafeteria.

For some reason the cafeteria closes about seven o'clock. But reopens from midnight until three. I suppose for the third shift workers. And people like me.

Oh. This time my hospital gown did have a pocket. Right in the middle of my chest. There were eight adhesive electrodes attached to my skin; the electrical leads went to an ECG monitor / transponder. So. This time I wised up and brought money to the hospital. And just put it in my ECG pocket. Waited for the patients down the corridor to start acting up, Getting past the nurses' station was a breeze.

I had to resist the urge to splurge because I was attracting enough attention dragging along the IV drip thingy and holding my hospital gown closed and St Patrick's Day green oversized non-slip socks which are hospital standard issue and look like I stold them from the St Vincent de Paul charity clothes donations.

They reminded me of the stockings I counted cross-stitch the names of the new babies in the family to hang on the fireplace mantle at Christmas. At one point a nurse had to check my feet for something. Jungle rot or leprosy, I suppose. Whoosh! The socks came off! Whoosh! They went right back on! Whoosh is not a sound I normally associate with socks.  Christmas stockings are made out of velvet. I think hospital socks are made out of Shamwows. No elastic or spandex whatsoever.

Remember the summer my friend Spewgie and I managed a day labor employment office? To prove we were worthy of our scholarships? Those guys were content to sit and watch television. All day long. More than a few times we had to diffuse an argument whether Rice-A-Roni or a vacuum cleaner price ended with number nine or seven.

We join this fight already in progress:

Guy #1: If you put a polar bear in a cage with a gorilla that gorilla is going to kick that polar bear's ass.
Guy #2: A polar bear ain't gonna fight a gorilla.
Guy #1: It will if you throw a Big Mac in there.
Guy #3: Hell no. Gorillas don't eat Big Macs.
Guy #1: It will if it's hungry enough.

Every day it was something.

One morning the Fox6 cutesy TV reporter went to a golf course to interview the greenskeeper. She started off by teeing up a golf ball in preparation to drive it towards the green.

Sports guy back at the station: Good form! What's that you're hitting?

That means "What club are you holding in your hand?" Presumably a driver. Cutesy reporter interrupted her swing and bent down.

Cutesy reporter: Well, sports guy. Looks like a Titleist 3.

Meaning the golf ball. Spewgie and I started laughing really hard and all the guys looked at us like we're the stupid ones. 

Point being they would never do laundry. When their clothes became beyond filthy, they'd go to St Vincent de Paul and buy a new outfit for fifty cents. The colors and patterns never went together but they were happier having clean clothes.

One time one of the guys found twenty bucks in the pocket of his new pants and we didn't see him for almost a week. Off on a bender. If he would have reported to the rescue mission and the meal program for the poor at St Benedict The Moor he probably could have retired.

4. When did you most recently experience buyer’s remorse?

My underground electricity.

1. My electricity went out at six o'clock in the morning yesterday. For the umpteenth time. Beautiful summer morning. Not a cloud in the sky. The power company said they'd have it fixed by seven. Then eight. Then nine. Then ten. Then three o'clock in the afternoon.

Two thousand, seven hundred and sixty-one customers were effected. I think the electric company is lying because according to them there was a car accident that caused the problem. On a street that has been closed all summer for construction. And every time the electricity goes out, it is always two thousand, seven hundred and sixty-one. Funny how the neighbors across the street have never lost power. Always the same damn area.

2. Unbeknownst to me, the electric company came out to my house in February and reburied the wires they'd already buried. The day after a snowstorm. And ruined all my stuff under a tarp in the backyard because my garage was torn down last September. Waiting to go in the new garage that was supposed to happen in September but the contractor said there was too much rain to relocate the wires.

So. The crew came out the day after a major snowstorm and drove over all my stuff buried in the snow with heavy machinery. But the same crew will melt in the autumn rain. That doesn't make sense.

Now I am fighting with the electrical company because they think I am going to pay them another two thousand dollars and I think they're crazy.

I rented a jackhammer and Spewgie and I and all the guys in the neighborhood because when they heard all the commotion they just had to come over to try to operate the jackhammer tore up a part of my existing driveway where the wires were supposed to go. But the original wire-burying crew said they could bore under the driveway. I told them that is where the new garage was going. "It's okay, lady. Those wires are gonna be three feet deep."

It's not okay. Looks like I'm not getting a new driveway and garage for the fourth winter in a row.

Oooh. And I found out if I get a less expensive asphalt driveway, my taxes will go down because the assessed value of my house will go down. Concrete is considered permanent. Asphalt is considered temporary. And asphalt will drive the neighbors crazy.

I wonder if I could get tennis court red asphalt?

5. What’s something interesting you consumed this past week?

Went to Simma's Bakery and bought two cheesecakes. One which I delivered to my friend Spewgie's house and one which took me two days to polish off.