勝美2

Another The Friday Five and Friday5 doubleheader!



The Friday Five. Thank you!


1. Where did you travel on your last vacation or other big trip?

2020 March 13. ORD to SAN. Checked in late Friday afternoon, had supper at the hotel restaurant and when I returned to my room there was a message from Holland America. All cruises cancelled. Coronavirus.

But I did manage to get a nice picture of the ship on my way back to the airport the following day. And on returning home was placed under strict quarantine.

2. What was the best trip you ever took? Where did you go, and with whom, and what made it so good?

Are you referring to the self-entitled woman on the flight from JFK to CPH?

Codename: The Cow.

Spewgie, my best friend since before we were born — our mothers had the same OB / GYN — and I were six-and-one-half years of age and into Harriet The Spy.

We started our dossier during dinner service. Her companion left her seat for a moment and The Cow reclined her chair so abruptly my water and almost my supper went flying all over me and Spewgie. She then put up the armrest separating her chair from her friend’s and proceeded to curl up and sleep. When her friend returned she had difficulty wakening her.

I whispered to Spewgie, “What an awful woman.”

Spew-chan was prophetic as usual. “Just you wait and see. She’ll be on the cruise with us.”

Our families exited customs in Copenhagen and queued for the bus to the ship. The Cow shoved Spewgie and me aside and took skips.

Over the next couple of weeks we keep close surveillance on The Cow. Her transgressions in the line on the Lido deck for breakfast, her pushing her way to be first on tour buses, her taking two towels and two deck chairs by the swimming pool. One for herself and one for her tote.

The worst was in the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. A guide led our group to De Nachtwacht / The Night Watch (Rembrandt van Rijn, 1642).

A huge canvas. 11.91 ft X 14.34 ft / 363 cm X 437 cm. As the guide explained that it was a commissioned work and was originally even larger but was cut down in 1715 to fit between two pillars in a private collection, Spewge noticed The Cow had separated herself from the group and was TOUCHING A PAINTING WITH HER RIGHT INDEX FINGER on the other side of the gallery.

Rembrandt died over four hundred years ago. I’m pretty sure the paint was dry.

Then there was the morning of 1997 August 31 on our way to Paris. We were instructed to look to the left as our tour bus left the tiled tunnel to see the Flamme de la Liberté, a recreation of the torch the Statue Of Liberty holds in New York harbor which was a gift from the people of France.

There were dozens of police cars parked all crazy with their emergency lights on and a large crowd.

“What is happening?”

The tour guide answered, “The princess died this morning ….”

Spewgie and I looked at each other. Princess? You guys chopped everyone’s head off.

” …. in a car crash caused by paparazzi.”

To which The Cow screamed, “OH MY GOD! PAVAROTTI KILLED PRINCESS DI!”

That one was actually kind of funny. Not the Princess Diana part, of course. Just saying “Pavarotti killed the princess” will keep Spewgie and I in stitches for hours.

The Cow’s penultimate aggression was trying to get ahead of Spewgie and me as we left the ship for the last time to board the tour bus to Rome. As per her modus operandi, she tried to shove Spewge and me out of her way to take skips. But Spewgie and I had taken the precaution of bringing up the subject during breakfast with our parents that morning. Spewgie’s father and my father told her in no uncertain terms to get to the end of the line. The Cow should thank her lucky stars. Hell hath no fury like my mother.

The final straw came later that morning. The tour guide did a head count as we reboarded the bus from a stop at a gift shop. Someone was missing. The Cow!

I know what you are thinking.

Spewgie and I followed her into the ladies’ room and murdered her with death by swirly.

No. Her poor exasperated travelling companion spoke up from the back of the bus. The Cow mistakenly assumed she had not made reservations for The Vatican and left the tour. Without her luggage. What an idiot.

Our next stop on the tour was The Vatican where we spent the next three hours seeing St Peter’s Basilica, the Pietà and Sistine Chapel while The Cow waited in line over a mile long. By the time she got to the ticket office, we were already splashing around in the hotel swimming pool before the evening segment of the tour.

Oh, Cow! We hardly knew ye.

Hope she had her passport.

Espionage and travel. High romance for the pre-tween set.

3. Where do you dream of traveling on your next vacation when it's safe to travel again?

Cruise to Hawaii. Holland America issued a refund and a free cruise. Staying in America for a while.

4. Where are you likely to actually travel to on your next vacation when it's safe?

Cruise to Hawaii.

5. Do you prefer to vacation to new places each time or to familiar places -- or maybe you prefer to stay home?

New places. Waiting until the world catches its equilibrium.

Holland America has a Baltic Sea cruise that looks very interesting. And there are always the pyramids of Egypt.

Friday5 questions courtesy of Scrivener. Thank you!

June 12: Aa Bb Cc Dd Ed Ff Gg Hh.

1. When did you last do something resembling a book report?

A book report. Beezus and Ramona by Beverly Cleary.

Must be the fifteenth book report I've done on Ramona and Beezy over the past twenty years. For which my protégés received A+.

2. What was your most recent art project?

3. When were you last called upon to do show & tell?

Spared no expense to make an exact scale model (estimated 5000000:1) of Mount St Helens for the big Science Fair. Papier-mâché with capellini pasta representing dead tree trunks radiating concentrically from the blast site and painted battleship grey, dark grey and black auto primer.

First "aprés" volcano her teacher had ever seen. Always green with the baking soda 'n' vinegar lava flow.

For my next volcano, I am thinking Hawaii. But that would require a field trip on Holland America with lots of mai tais and an excursion to the Honolulu Zoo to see the baby sloth and a POG kakigori.

Hmmmm. Who do I know that lives in Hawaii?

4. When did you last feel like someone playing hide and seek?

Neighborhood Association Holiday Party. Someone brought a "date" for me to meet.

Thank you for your thoughtfulness! How can I ever repay you? Although I am thinking a load of buckshot or slashed tires.

5. When did you last have some milk and/or cookies?

Dreamy Clouds sake with sakuramochi. A springtime sweet for cherry blossom (sakura) time. Kansai-style.